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If I was merely wasting the money I pay in taxes, I could live with the progressive tax rate where they take a lot more when I make a little more, as long as the profit curve never turns negative. They’re careful to maintain an asymptotic curve where eventually, they take everything above a standard of living that most Americans would classify as upper middle class.

To become wealthy, one must cheat, either by lying on tax forms, or becoming part of the crony government corruption, neither of which I’ll do. That sentences me to forever be a wage slave working on the global tax plantation. They definitely punish productivity and success, so it’s no wonder we have a lot less of those.

I’m in my usual mid-April homicidal mood. My accountant called last night with the expected news. I owe over $16,000 in federal taxes, which probably implies several thousand in state taxes as well. He called because he assumed that I didn’t give him all of my expenses that would offset the income. I’m sure I missed some receipts here and there but I did a better job of keeping up with them than previous years. I explained that this is not the typical retail business where I buy something and sell it for twice what I paid. I’m operating as the manufacturer, distributor and retailer, so I net all of those profits.  I’m selling direct to the customer.   I buy something for $x, invest a couple of minutes of my time and sell it for $y.

My accountant told me, “Uncle Sam loves you!”

I replied, “That love is completely unrequited.”

I should have replied, “Uncle Sam fucks me. There’s a big difference.”

I have an appointment for this afternoon to wrap up the ugly 2016 taxes, write a couple of big checks and try to forget. Damn. This would be a good time to drink. Blackout drunk is a completely justifiable response to being raped by your uncle.

I’ll make an appointment with my accountant after the busy season to discuss options to pay less in taxes in the future. One suggestion he floated was to pay $2500 per year to the accountant to run my business as an S corporation so I could pay around $4500 less in taxes. What a bargain.

I’ve frequently agonized over whether I should buy a BMW G650GS or the Zero Motorcycles FX all electric hoon machine dual sport urban assault vehicle. I could have bought both of these motorcycles with the check I’m writing to the damned IRS this year. That’ll probably buy a couple of replacement batteries for the Tomahawk cruise missiles that they used to bomb Syria. I don’t even know anyone in Syria. Why would I want to pay for that?

taxes suck